A beautiful day.

Sunshine and sidewalk chalk. A happy girl. A happy mommy. Silliness and giggles and art. A beautiful day. Is there anything better?
Sun chalk drawing by my very own artist-in-training, Hannah. :)

The things I will do for a photograph.

This morning I dumped all of my rhinestones, crystal brads, and other assorted shiny stuff :) out of their respective containers so that I could take this awesome picture. Now I have a nice big pile in the middle of my desk - which in & of itself is pretty yummy, but now needs re-organizing. As if I didn't have enough messes to clean up as it is. That got me thinking about all the crazy stuff we scrapbookers will do to get a photo. I remember one layout in Creating Keepsakes (I think it was by Sande Krieger) where she got stopped by the police because she was leaning over the edge of a bridge to take a picture; they didn't see her camera & thought she was a jumper. :o

Here's some of the things I have done:

• Dumped things out of their neatly organized containers and packaging into one big pile. (Everything from scrapbook supplies to my gazillion pairs of shoes.)
• Ironed and changed my clothes, fixed my hair, and put on makeup.
• Laid down on the ground under the monkey bars at the park.
• Waded barefoot through mud (well, I didn't want to get my shoes yucky! They were expensive! LOL)
• Climbed up onto the kitchen countertop.
• Blocked traffic (my girlfriend & I just had to get pictures of our matching minivans, ya know! LOL)
• Waded through flooded streets.
• Pretending to lick patterned paper. (Don't ask. LOL)

So to what lengths have you gone to get the perfect shot? You know, the kind of things that make people (read: non-scrapbookers LOL) look at you funny. Inquiring minds want to know! :)
On a related topic, I found this awesome quote by Stacy Julian (founding editor of Simple Scrapbooks magazine and author of The Big Picture):

I've been thinking about pictures... I'm pretty sure I have way too many. I remember my mother taking her old Kodak 110 film in to get it developed and showing me snapshots from the first day of school, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas - all taken with one 12-exposure roll of film. I've decided that having more pictures doesn't necessarily mean you have more memories - or even more detailed memories. It just means you have more pictures.

Have a great weekend & take lots of pictures!

Hannah's story.

I just finished a layout for a circle journal I'm participating in; Kay's theme was "Bumps in the Road of Life." A tough topic, but the other entries in her book were very inspiring - and it felt good to write about this, to make a layout about it. Somehow it makes you feel more in control of the situation. Anyway, since the journaling is pretty long, I thought I would post it here on my blog instead of trying to scan it. Besides, I thought it would make a good blog entry: If what's good for the blog is good for the scrapbook, then what's good for the scrapbook is good for the blog, right? ;) I've posted a picture of the layout here too but if you want to see it in more detail you can see it in my gallery at 2Peas. I titled it "She is 1 in 150" because of the new study that found that autism affects 1 in 150 American children (read the article in the Wall Street Journal or at the Autism Speaks website). I hope that if you are moved by Hannah's story, you will consider sending a donation to Autism Speaks organization; donations received through this link by March 31, 2007 can help win a matching grant (click here for more details). So here is Hannah's story; she may be 1 in 150, but to me, she is 1 in a million...

Autism is one of those things that doesn’t happen to you. It’s one of those things that you read about, or you know someone who knows someone who has a kid with it. But it doesn’t happen to you, to your kids. Until it does.

Hannah was a perfect baby, always happy, always smiling, very loving. She hit every milestone in the baby books on time, if not early. Then she turned two, and though the “terrible two’s” really weren’t so difficult, the development of her language skills started languishing. Her social skills also stopped advancing, though I didn’t realize it at the time, having had no experience with other children with which to compare. All I knew is that most of the time, she was adorable, jabbering away in half-complete sentences and baby talk – and sometimes she was unbearable, throwing herself on the floor in violent screaming fits when she didn’t get her way. It was very stressful at times, but I figured, well, she’s only two; she’ll grow out of it.

Then she turned three, and she started attending Mother’s Day Out twice a week. After the first couple of months, her teachers expressed their concern to me that she was not as well developed linguistically and socially as her peers, and recommended that I have her tested for a developmental delay. I shrugged it off for a couple more months, partly waiting (and hoping) for her to simply “grow out of it,” and partly – I admit now – not wanting to even entertain the notion that something might be wrong with my precious baby girl. By the spring semester, though, even I could see that the gap between Hannah and her peers was widening, so I agreed to have her tested by the local school district. The evaluation team identified Hannah as having mild Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) – an umbrella that includes autism spectrum disorders and Asperger’s Syndrome – and we arranged for her to start attending the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities at our neighborhood elementary school in the fall.

After a long and difficult summer, fall finally arrived, and Hannah turned four shortly after school started. We made special arrangements that allowed her to attend Mother’s Day Out twice a week – all of her various caregivers agreed that it would be good for her to continue to have the exposure to “normal” children her age, as an example for her to emulate as well as a stimulus to her desire to grow. (The primary difficulty was that at four years of age, she is the only child in her MDO class not potty-trained, and the classroom is not set up for diaper changes and supervised bathroom trips.) She enjoys her mornings at MDO, but it is at preschool that the real work is done, and we were surprised and pleased to see rapid improvement in Hannah’s behavior and language skills in just the first six weeks.

I would not say that she is a “completely different child” (as you will often hear of children) – she remains as charming and delightful as she ever was. She is imaginative and amusing and beautiful and enthusiastic, and emanates a joyous warmth that seems to touch everyone who sees her. Yet the change in her from just a year ago is unmistakable, and remarkable: her sentences are longer and longer, and it has been months since I heard a syllable of baby talk. Her play-stories are more and more the product of her own fertile imagination, and less and less a mere repetition of the stories she knows from books and movies. She is learning to take turns and to share, and shows much more interest in doing things herself than in insisting that Mommy and Daddy wait upon her hand and foot. She is smart, learning to read and write, using logic to negotiate, and showing signs of a photographic memory. Best of all, she is starting to interact with other children, to call them by name, to talk to them and play with them; at home she likes to recite the list all of her friends to anyone who will listen.

There is still a long road ahead of us, though. She still has difficulty controlling her temper, especially when denied to have her own way, and she appears completely unaffected by any sort of external motivator or punishment. She has very little interest in toilet training and a very limited appetite. This winter, Hannah was evaluated by a psychologist, the summation of whose report was a single, concise word: conundrum. In all her years evaluating children, she has never seen one like Hannah, who appears normal and yet isn’t; who appears to be delayed and yet doesn’t. Her conclusion and professional opinion: Either Hannah is autistic or she is simply the most stubborn child this world has ever seen. Neither scenario sounds particularly appealing to me. Obviously, this is a “bump” that is going to take a long time to get across. In the meantime, I do what I can: I do my best to be a good wife and a good mother, I scrap, I go to church, I spend much-needed time with my girlfriends. I try to stay informed about autism research, the possible causes and treatments, and I am learning how to be my child’s advocate. I take one day at a time.

Wanted: one creative manifesto.

Time again for another aeZine challenge from the incomparable Ali Edwards. This week the challenge was to create a manifesto for ourselves:

What is a manifesto? According to my handy dandy computer dictionary a manifesto is "a public declaration of policy and aims, esp. one issued before an election by a political party or candidate." Essentially, it is a cool, fancy name for a mission statement - a way to describe your overall creative purpose.

The challenge this week is to come up with you very own personal creative manifesto. Maybe it is one word. Maybe it will be paragraphs. Whatever it is or becomes, take some time this week to begin generating one for just for you. Create a layout, begin a minibook, or maybe just start writing out your thoughts...

Naturally Ali's (which you can read here) is simply the epitome of awesome. And mine... well, I have a list. A list of what, I'm not entirely sure, but a few months ago I started writing down things that popped into my head, little things that I need to try to focus on when I get stuck in a creative rut or when I'm just letting the pressure (real or imagined) get to me too much. At one point I had ideas for a canvas with these phrases (and any others that come along), and that may still happen (or not), but anyway, here's my list:

• Live life. Create art. (Thanks to Ali for this one!)
• Never stop dreaming.
• Learn to let go.
• Free your mind on the open road.
• Listen to your heart.
• Believe in yourself.

Is this a manifesto, a mission statement? I don't know. I don't know that it really describes my "overall creative purpose" as such. But there it is. It inspires me. It calms me. For me, for now, it is enough. And that, I guess, is really all that matters.

A new favorite picture.

[12/21/2006]

Isn't she beautiful? That's my baby girl. :) She was having such a great time at the park that day - and so was I. The static electricity from the plastic slide was making her hair stand on end (which I thought was pretty cute & funny LOL) so I just crouched at the bottom with my camera and waited for her to come down. A beautiful reminder of a fabulous day.

It's days like that that make this whole thing worth it... this struggle to be Hannah's mom. Today was such a very bad, bad, bad day: everything from the cat puking on the floor first thing this morning to the computer crashing twice this afternoon to Hannah's violent insistence that Daddy buckle her into her car seat, not Mommy. Saying "no" when Daddy asked her if she loves Mommy (and this while she's sitting on my lap eating my dinner! but at least she was eating...). Throwing fits about having to sit on the potty. Peeing on the floor no fewer than six times today. Things like that that make me want to give up, quit trying, walk out and not look back. I went into my scrap room this afternoon and just walked right back out again. I couldn't do it. I wanted to scrap, wanted to take my mind off all the crap of this lousy day, but I was just too depressed. Feeling totally frustrated, bewildered, and... unnecessary.

A total waste of a perfectly good weekend.

Of mothers and daughters.

I just got back from my monthly book club meeting about an hour ago and wow, what a great discussion! So much to talk about... and this time most of it actually relevant to the book we read... LOL This month we read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. The premise is:

Her name is Dinah. In the Bible, her life is only hinted at in a brief and violent detour within the more familiar chapters about her father, Jacob, and his dozen sons in the Book of Genesis.

Told in Dinah's voice, this novel reveals the traditions and turmoil of ancient womanhood - the world of the red tent. It begins with the story of her mothers - Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah - the four wives of Jacob. They love Dinah and give her gifts to sustain her through a hard-working youth, a calling to midwifery, and a new home in a foreign land. Dinah's story reaches out from a remarkable period of early history and creates an intimate, immediate connection.

Deeply affecting, The Red Tent combines rich storytelling with a valuable achievement in modern fiction: a new view of biblical women's society.

One of the big things that struck our group was the Jacobite women's practice of celebrating a girl's entrance into womanhood. Today, Jewish girls have a bat mitzvah; Hispanic girls celebrate with a quinceañera; society girls "come out" at a debutante ball. But for most of us American girls, that day passes quietly, at best. We have taken the essence of our femininity and made it shameful. Even worse, we have become alienated from each other with the destruction of the red tent; instead of several days a month spent in commune with our sisters, we gossip and envy and fight over family-vs.-career on national television. Legends are forgotten. Traditions are abandoned. Communication in the family breaks down. No wonder our kids don't know how (or when) to grow up.

But as in so many things, we, as women, have a choice. And my friends and I choose to reach out to our daughters, to teach them responsibility, so that when they reach adulthood, they will be ready. And we will not let them feel ashamed for their womanhood but we will celebrate it. A day with just the girls, shopping, a pedicure, an all-day crop... whatever we are into at the time. A celebration of the girl she was, and the woman she is becoming. We will set up a new "red tent" in our hearts.

...And look, just like that, one little book has changed the world. How cool is that?

Inspired by... Products.

Every now and then, something really strikes me, inspires me to a fabulous idea, or simply kindles in me the desire to create, and I thought it would be fun to share some of that inspiration here on my blog. (Right now, I'm totally being inspired by the amazing Ali Edwards, but that's a story for another post. ;) ) Today I'm going to respond to the January 31st aeZine challenge, which is:

This week I want you to take a look at those "extras" that are truly delighting you right now and making you want to create. Make a list and then CREATE a layout that details your favorites.

It was so much fun to make a layout on this topic! It's totally yummy... ;) So here's my list:

1. Prima flowers. Just call me a Prima junkie! LOL 61 varieties and counting...


2. Shiny stuff. Crystal brads; bling words, frames, and borders; jeweled icons; I love it all! There is just something about a little sparkle that adds the perfect finishing touch to any page. :)


3. Acrylic stamps. Totally infatuated with the beautiful new stamps from Rhonna Farrer for Autumn Leaves, and also the Lil Davis sets. So elegant. KI Memories has definitely caught my eye, I may have to have those too... ;)


4. Transparency overlays. Loving all the swirls from Creative Imaginations and Hambly Studios for my wedding album. The 4x6 overlays and icons from My Mind’s Eye Bohemia line are another favorite – love it that I can get that digital look without all the work! LOL


5. Rub-ons. I love alphabet rub-ons of any kind and any color; Junkitz Expressions, Basic Grey Wholly Cow, American Crafts miniMARKS Accents, and 7gypsies; and of course anything fancy: Hambly Studios, Chatterbox Grafix… (The list goes on and on and on... LOL)


6. Photos and memories. Obviously also an essential, but like Ali, I included it here too because really, nothing inspires me to scrapbook more than a great photo or memory.


7. Connecting with other scrapbookers. Especially Jennifer. I love to meet other people who are passionate about scrapbooking, see their creations, and share my own. And when the ideas start flying... watch out! LOL

That's my list for today. Tomorrow it may be slightly different. But that's the fun part of this hobby/obsession: all the new and exciting products to play with! :)

Only the essentials.

Another challenge from Ali Edwards' aeZine, this one from January 17, 2007. It's all about the basics:

What are your essentials? If you had to get rid of everything and just keep a modest amount, what would be on your list? The challenge this week is easy: draft up a list of your essentials. What do you reach for time after time?

I've actually been noticing these things a lot lately anyway, that certain things always end up on my layouts, so this question comes at a good time for me. Here's my list (in no particular order):

1. Patterned paper. Just about any color scheme, design, or theme – so long as it’s not cheesy. Right now I am loving Basic Grey and American Crafts.


2. Journaling pens in black, white, and brown. I like the Zig Milleniums in black, but haven’t found a good brown one yet (the Millenium is too light, too red; for now I’ve been using my chocolate Zig Writer). Love the white Uni-ball Signo from Stampin’ Up!


3. Black and brown ink. Usually Close To My Heart but StazOn is much better for inking photos and stickers.


4. My camera (and also, my photographs). I like my Canon Rebel a lot but I wish it was digital!


5. Stupid paper trimmer. I hate them, but I can’t seem to work without one. The Cutterpede from EK Success has worked the best for me so far, but even that's not perfect. (I can't cut a straight line with an Xacto and metal ruler either though, so maybe it's just me... maybe it's my eyes that are crooked... LOL)


6. Ruler, pencil, and eraser! I believe in measuring before I cut, and I’m a big fan of straight lines, so I really couldn’t do without these essential tools. I’m happy to report I’ve managed to convert several scrapping friends… :) My ruler is clear, my pencil is mechanical, and my eraser is a soft white Staedtler.


7. Scissors. Love the Fiskars SoftTouch (but I don’t like the new bumpy handles).


8. Adhesives: Herma, Xyron X150, Diamond Glaze, and Glue Dots of several kinds. Necessary, but boring. I hate spending money on adhesives.


9. Chipboard. At first I couldn’t figure out what to do with it, now I can’t seem to make a layout without it! I love the lightweight dimension it adds, and all the different ways it can be altered.


10. Jennifer. How on earth did I ever scrap without the other half of my brain?


11. Stickers. I’ve never thought of myself as being much of a sticker person but somehow I’ve managed to accrue a huge stash of letter and word stickers. I’m particularly fond of letter stickers from American Crafts and Doodlebug, and I am totally smitten with 97% Complete from 7gypsies!


12. Bazzill cardstock. The colors I find myself reaching for the most are black, white, Java, Pomegranate, and Kraft.

I don't know if it's a modest amount, exactly (I have a lot of patterned paper! LOL), but these are the things I can't scrap without! I made my layout using only the supplies in my list... Talk about stretching that creativity! :)

One little word.

Working my way through Ali Edwards' aeZine challenges. I just discovered this gem of a newsletter (totally inspiring!!), so I'm a little behind... January 3rd's challenge was to identify one word to focus on for the coming year:

Can you identify a single word that sums up what you want for yourself in 2007? It can be something tangible or intangible. It could be a thought or a feeling or an emotion. It can be singular or plural. The key is to find something that has personal meaning for you.

This week your challenge is to create something, anything, that celebrates your chosen word for 2007. Maybe a layout. Maybe a blog posting or a journal entry or a simple post-it note that you put somewhere you can see it each day. Make sure to journal about why you chose your word and what it means for you - the more you let yourself explore the more benefit you will receive in the end.

After some thought, I have decided that my word for 2007 is more. At first, it seems like an odd choice; a lot of people these days seem to still subscribe to the "less-is-more" philosophy that first appeared as a backlash against the excesses of the 1980's. But really, when I thought about what I want for 2007, more just seemed like the perfect fit... In 2007, I want:

• More time with my family. I need to remind myself what is truly most important to me in life, and adjust my priorities accordingly. Spend less time behind the camera and more time actively participating. Live life, not just document it. And after all, I have to make memories before I can scrapbook them, right? ;)
• More confidence. Why do I sell myself short so much? Why do I have such a hard time believing compliments, denying them inside even as I graciously accept them on the outside? Who am I, really? What do I even want out of life? Good questions to ponder over the next year and a half; hopefully I will enter my 30's with a measure more clarity and confidence than I have had in my 20's.
• More peace. I've gotten a good start on this one already, going to church every Sunday, and using Jesus Take the Wheel (Carrie Underwood) as the ringtone on my cell phone to remind me to pray and keep God in my daily life.
• More organization. Starting with my studio, of course. (Yes I will post pictures when I'm done.) The kitchen and the garage are minor disaster areas, and all of our closets have a lot of wasted space. And eventually, I'm going to have to do something about all that junk in the guest room...!
• More time with Jennifer. Life just hasn't been the same since she moved, though we talk daily and our friendship is just as strong as ever. Miss her so much.
• More weight loss. I'm down almost 50 pounds since April 2005, but I haven't done much lately to further this progress. Need to get back on track to better health, which will also help my confidence!
• More sleep. I'm still a night owl - but lately I've definitely felt the effects more strongly of burning the candle at both ends. Chris and I have been trying to get to bed earlier, but it's so hard to resist the temptation to stay up just a little bit longer... He loves his video games, and I love to scrapbook, and most of that fun stuff is done after Hannah goes to bed at nine. Of course, being the night person that I am, a lot of times I feel like my brain doesn't even wake up to its full creative potential until 10pm! Still, I think an earlier bedtime could do a world of good: I think Hannah would benefit from a more enthusiastic Mommy, and I know my body would respond better to my diet if I got more rest.

So that's my list. Just about the only thing I don't want (or need) this year is more stuff!
Here's to a great new year full of possibility!

Size DOES matter.

Let me tell you for a moment about one of my biggest pet peeves right now: it's things that are supposed to be a given size, claim to be a given size, but aren't. Like patterned paper. I know, not all paper is precisely 12x12, and that's just the way some companies do things. Like the sheets you tear out of books; they aren't 12x12 because the part on the other side of the perforation (the part they bind) gets torn off. I get that. What I'm talking about is paper that actually claims to be 12x12, but when you measure it (or worse, when you adhere it to a sheet that truly is 12x12), it's only 11-15/16, or 11-7/8. Or even 11-3/4. Though American Crafts brought this issue to a whole new level of irritation for me the other day when I found out that two of their patterns made to go together are not even the same size. What am I supposed to do with that??? I think the least a company could do is make all their paper one size!

Even worse than the patterned paper issue is the problem of 4x6 prints. (You know, the thick stack of doubles you bring home every time you develop a roll or two of film, that is now leaning like the tower of Pisa on your desk because you haven't had time to sort, label, and file them all.) Have you ever noticed not all 4x6 photos are 4x6? A lot of them are actually 4x5-7/8. In my opinion, this is an even bigger problem because you really expect a 4x6 to be 4x6! As usual, I found this out the hard way: imagine making a grid layout using 4x6 photos on two sheets of 12x12 paper (which is really 12x24 since it's 2 pages). The whole thing is sketched out to a T in perfect proportions and you have all your materials gathered. You begin assembling the layout, thinking, this will be so easy... all the hard work (the planning & measuring, etc) is done! Wrong. Because the photos aren't true 4x6, suddenly the grid doesn't line up. So you trim the others - only to discover that the sides aren't perpendicular.

Of course, if you're really lucky, the fact that your photos are missing a couple centimeters here and there won't matter, because your paper isn't really 12x12 anyway.