A typical day.

8:30 It's a good thing I thought to set my alarm last night, because Hannah's still asleep. In my bed, but asleep. She is so beautiful when she's asleep. I can still see what she looked like when she was 6 months old... I hate to wake her up.

8:45 She's finally up, and as usual, full of sunshine. Disgusting. I hate morning people! lol The color of the week at Mother's Day Out is green, so I pick out her Gymboree turtle outfit (which cost more than I care to think about but was too cute to pass up). Naturally, she doesn't want to wear it, no doubt for the simple reason that I want her to. She opts instead for her pumpkin jumper over a long-sleeve shirt. It'll probably be 75 degrees today, but whatever. At least the stems on the pumpkins are green.

9:15 Today is a little different from our normal routine, because Chris is taking a training class on the other side of town, so his co-worker picked him up at 7:30 this morning (typically I drive him to work on Tuesdays and Thursdays). So this morning at 9, it's just me and Hannah, and I have an extra 15 minutes to stall her before I allow her to drag me out the door. She gets so excited about going to school! :) I'm a little later than usual, so I don't see my friend Bobbi today - usually we have a nice little chat after we drop our kids off. No errands to run today (except a couple I've been avoiding all week), so I head back home.

10:00 After coming home, I put in my contacts to help prop my eyelids open, and immediately hop online to check my email. 39 new messages, though some are nearly a month old; only 3 new ones since yesterday. Almost as soon as I get signed on, Jennifer calls my cell phone. We talk for 15 minutes and 49 seconds.

10:15 The Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame (HOF) results are being posted online today. I know already that I haven't won - since I didn't receive a call - but I can't help myself, and I scour the CK website for the list of winners. Apparently it's not up yet, so I head over to the Contest & Submissions Support Board on the CK message board to check out what people are saying. I've been lurking there for a few months now, throughout the HOF process; occasionally I do come out of my hidey-hole to contribute to a conversation. ;) I check a thread I commented on yesterday; my reply could easily have been taken badly, so I am much relieved to see that I haven't been flamed. I keep seeing references to the April issue of CK and want to know, why is it March 22nd and I don't have mine yet?!

10:45 I had intended to finish writing the blog entry I started last night, but after 45 minutes online already, I really don't feel like it: I want to scrapbook. I've done 2 layouts in the last 2 days, one of which I'm very happy with, the other which I posted online LOL, so I'm still kind of "riding high" - which means now is a good time for me to scrapbook, and take advantage of that momentum. I have some cute pictures of Hannah and Nathan playing at the zoo during Spring Break last week, and some ideas about what I want to do with them, so I think I will start there. I keep the computer online though, so I can hear if I get a new email.

11:45 The layout's only about 1/3 of the way done, but time's up, and I have to go get Hannah. Coming into the garage, I notice that a bird is yanking on a hanging shred of my window screen; evidently it would make good nest material. Nice. For a moment, I think about grabbing my camera (the bird is pretty close, after all) but I really don't have time. So I hit the button for the big garage door instead, and it flies away. At MDO, I find out that Hannah requested to use the restroom twice this morning. :) They're having an Easter egg hunt April 5th and I signed up to bring plastic eggs (there's only about a million of those damn things floating around my house). I also agreed to be a room helper, so that means I get to be there for the party... and THAT means I get to take pictures. :)

12:25 Having dropped Hannah off at preschool, I am back at home for more computer time while I eat lunch (though I won't tell you what I ate, since as the book says, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch! LOL) I log in at 2Peas, and of course the first thing I do is check for praise on the layout I posted last night - yes, I'm a self-proclaimed praise junkie, I admit it! But it just feels so darn good... LOL After all, your husband has to say he likes it! Total strangers don't. Four people took the time to say how beautiful it is, so I'm happy. (Pathetic, I know.) I lurk in the Pub for a while; a couple of Peas have posted their non-winning HOF entries, and you know I have to check them out. Yeah, I can do what they did.

1:15 Still online. Yeah, I got sucked in by the computer again. *sigh* CK has finally posted the official list of HOF winners and Honorable Mentions and though I knew already that my name would not be there, it was still just a little disappointing to face the realization in print. I've bookmarked the threads with links to the winners' galleries on 2Peas, so I can check out examples of their work later. Find out what I was up against, and perhaps get some ideas for things I can do different next year. For now, I've had it with the successful people, so I'm going over to the Photography board to see the latest on the challenges. As usual, one of my primary scrapbooking goals is to improve my photography. The online challenges do this by giving a specific photo assignment, which I can then post for constructive critcism. Which would be much easier (and more timely, not to mention more cost-effective) if I had a digital camera. Ahem! LOL

1:45 I quit. 2Peas is taking forever to load each thread, and after over an hour of this crap, I've had it. I'm going back to my layout.

3:00 Jennifer calls me on her break to pick my brain. LOL We talk for 11 minutes and 47 seconds, and then she has to get back to work. I can't wait for her visit next week - I've got a sweet surprise for her! :)

3:10 90% done with my layout, and it's time to go outside to meet Hannah's bus. For the first time in 3 days, I don't bother taking the phone with me.

4:30 Done! That's 3 layouts in 3 days, 38 pages in 2007, and 431 pages since April 2004! :) It's getting stuffy in here though as the sun lowers in the sky; I think I'll see if Hannah wants to go play outside for a while. I finally sign off AOL; I have spent 412 minutes online. Good thing we have unlimited usage this billing period! :)

5:00 Outside, I am recruited to push Hannah on the swings (of course she has to swing on both the red swing and the blue swing, what was I thinking? I should have gotten 2 of the same color); but after playing outside for only a short while - and pestering me a bit longer than that - she complained that it was too hot, and announced that she wanted to come back inside and watch Caillou. *sigh* I remind her that I told her when she picked out her clothes this morning that it was too hot to wear long sleeves but my words go in one ear and out the other, if they even got that far: she is across the yard and tugging on the sliding glass door by the time I finish talking. At her request, I sit down with her on the couch as I start the VCR. Unfortunately, I can't concentrate to read while the TV is on, but can still cross-stitch. Perhaps I can finish up the Ernie Christmas ornament and get started on Big Bird.

5:30 Hannah wants another glass of milk and another bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Yep, that's what passes as her dinner in our house. Really gotta do something about that.

6:30 We are watching Curious George for the 2nd consecutive time when Chris finally gets home. (My shift is done! LOL) Chris makes the mistake of asking me what I did today, so I whip out a hard copy of this blog post and start reading it aloud. In between the "uh-huh"s and "just a minute, Hannah, Mommy is talking"s, he actually seems to be paying attention. Score one for the hubby. :)

7:00 I really try to eat dinner as a family, but Hannah's eating issues often make it difficult. Tonight we are having spaghetti, which she loves but claims to hate: "Children don't like pasketti!" (I'm trying so hard not to laugh!) I put some on her plate anyway, and am thrilled that she doesn't have a total meltdown. This is progress.

7:30 Dinner is done and it's time for Hannah's bath - Daddy's job. Playtime for me! :) It kind of sucks that he's been home for only an hour now, half of which was taken up by dinner, and now it's her bath & bedtime already. At least his class is only these 3 days, and next week when we're back to our "regularly scheduled programming" Chris and Hannah will once again be able to have some daddy/daughter playtime between dinner and bed. I sign back online to update my blog as he starts the water for her bath and chases her around the house. (He's growling like a monster and threatening "I'm gonna get you!", so don't feel sorry for him. LOL)

8:30 Hannah is ready for stories and bed. I barely manage to hit 'save' before she yanks me out of my seat at the computer and drags me down the hall to her room, to snuggle with her while Chris reads In a People House by Theo LeSieg (aka Dr. Seuss) and Walt Disney's Cinderella for the 500th time. I love storytime. Hugs and kisses all around, and it's lights out.

9:00 Woo-hoo! My April issue of CK IS here! :)

9:30 Resizing layouts for posting. Yay. Definitely not real high up there on my list of favorite things to do. Worth it for the praise though. :) Lately I've noticed that a lot more of my layouts are getting praised on 2Peas, and I've got a few theories why this might be so: 1. My layouts have simply gotten better & better over time, thus drawing more attention in the gallery, and inspiring more people to leave a comment. Basically, I just rock! LOL 2. As more magazines require layouts that have never been posted in an online public forum, fewer of the best designers are posting their work, choosing instead to submit for publication. Thus my layouts stand out more. Also, fewer layouts posted means the gallery is not so fast-paced as it used to be, so my layouts get more exposure before being shoved back to page 257 of layouts posted in the last 24 hours. 3. For whatever reason, more people are taking the time to leave comments on the layouts they view.

10:30 Time for CSI:New York! Watching CSI, CSI: Miami and CSI: New York together has become something of a ritual for Chris and me. It's nice: we cuddle on the couch, and afterwards it gives us something to talk about, a way for us to connect with each other that doesn't involve Hannah. (Not that she's not the center of our lives, but I firmly believe that a healthy marriage needs to be about so much more than just the kids. Healthier for Mom & Dad, and healthier for the kids, too!) Best of all, since we're watching the recording on the VCR, we can speed through the commercials!

11:30 More computer time. I really have a love/hate relationship with this machine. It's such a time-sucker, and yet there's some really cool stuff you can do with it! Provided, of course, that it's actually cooperating.

12:30 Chris is going to bed. Hm. I probably should too. I just have one more thing to do first...

2:00 This time I really am going to bed! I know, it's way later than I should stay up. There simply aren't enough hours in the day! Hopefully tonight I will sleep all night. And tomorrow it will start all over again.

Identity crisis.

Well to be honest it isn't really a crisis, but I have thought about changing my screen name a lot over the last few years. It's just that I've been "velvethare" for so long (7 years!) that's it's a lot like changing your telephone number: a real hassle. There are so many people to notify, so many e-newsletter profiles to update, so many online accounts to change. I even have a new one picked out: "scrappyhare." One day, on a whim, I decided to check with AOL to see if it was available, though I really expected it to be taken already - there must be thousands of AOL users and most screen names have to be either garbled somehow or numbers added to them to make them unique. I hate that. I was very surprised that my chosen name was actually available and decided to take it, even though I hadn't yet decided to make the switch.

I get asked every now & then how I came up with velvethare, and the answer is really quite simple: when we first signed up with AOL I had to pick a screen name, and since we were still fairly newlywed I wanted something cute with my new name. I decided on "velveteen rabbit." Well of course it was too long. Thus, I settled on "velvethare."

For years, I've tried to come up with a catchy handle that involved my other great love, music. The problem is, I play the French horn. You know what kind of spam I'd get with the word "horn" in my email address?! (Though I have problems with having "velvet" in my address too...) My very first one was "ConnArtist" - which I loved, but got really tired of explaining (my horn is a Conn 8D, as a musician I am an artist, etc...)

To complicate matters even more, on some websites I have still different usernames: I used "horn diva" for a long time, then after Hannah was born I switched to "Ma Hare" (which also happens to be a longtime nickname of Chris' grandma).

But I think I like "scrappyhare" best of all. It's me. It's cute. And it's not something I settled for. I just have to convince myself that it's worth the trouble to make the switch.

All of this to say that I have changed my username on 2Peas. "Ma Hare" has passed away... (The 2Peas user, not Chris' grandma!) Meet "scrappyhare." :)

A red-letter day.

Hannah has finally decided that she is going to be a big girl! :) You have no idea what a huge relief this is for us! Physically, I knew that she was fully capable, and could have been fully potty-trained since at least last Thanksgiving, but for reasons known only to her she elected not to. It's been 2 years since we started down this road, and I am so glad to see it finally finished. Really, I was afraid that she would be going to Kindergarten still in pull-ups... But just as it was with giving up nursing, with giving up bottles, with giving up the crib, so it was with the diapers: with every major transition, Hannah has done it entirely on her own terms. Cold turkey, no looking back. It's as if she simply decides, "I'm going to do this today." The difference is that she hit all of the other milestones early - this one was rather late.

So to celebrate Hannah's decision to be a big girl, we had a "potty party" last weekend (this was after she had been accident-free for almost a week). I made a cake that looked like a potty, and Hannah was all about helping me to decorate it. She showed me where I should put the white icing and the blue icing ("that's where I go pee" she said) and was a little upset that we didn't have a handle for the potty. She did like the flowers on the tank though. :) Chris's revolting idea of adding Tootsie Rolls was promptly vetoed. We gave her a couple of presents: she got the Azura fairy doll (from the Barbie Fairytopia movie) and a package of Hello Kitty underpants. With some toilet paper streamers stapled to the top of a birthday party hat, Hannah was transformed into the Potty Princess and had great fun prancing around. And in case you were wondering, Hannah is 10.5 squares of toilet paper tall... ;)

All in all it was a lot of fun. Chris' dad was here for the week, and I got some great pictures of them hanging out together, blue tongues and all. :) And it seems that Hannah got the message - that the potty party was a celebration of her decision to be a big girl and use the potty all the time, and she has done perfectly ever since. But the best part is - and I know it's hard to imagine that anything could be better than not having to change any more diapers LOL - the best part is that with the diapers into the trash seems to have gone a lot of her obstinacy. Because Hannah & I are no longer engaging in a battle of wills every hour over sitting on the potty, we are both more relaxed. We are both happier. Her tantrums in general have subsided dramatically, and a weight that I didn't even realize was on my shoulders has suddenly lifted. The little monster that plagued us for 2 years is gone, and I have my sweet little girl back again. :)

So very proud of my big girl. Now I can finally go scrapbook all those Karen Foster potty charts we used. LOL

The stuff of dreams.

Isn't it odd how sometimes our bodies and our dreams sort of "interact"? I had a major allergy attack yesterday afternoon, and by evening I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't stop sneezing, my sinuses were swollen almost totally shut, you name it. I was also quite tired - probably a result of not getting enough oxygen - so I decided to go to bed a little earlier than usual (as in, before midnight LOL). Well of course you're not going to sleep well if you can't breathe, and it seemed that every time I woke up during the night I was still in the same position that I lay down in when I went to bed. I really don't think I moved much at all. Which explains why I woke up stiff and sore this morning (though the sneezing was much abated).

As I suffer from a number of allergies (I get a bad attack pretty much every time a cold front comes through and the wind shifts to the north), I have nights like this several times a year. The odd thing is my dreams on those nights. The content differs somewhat, but they all have one thing in common: in my dreams, I am experiencing some sort of strenuous activity. Last night it was ballet. I dreamt I was back in high school, in ballet class, and I was en pointe. It was kind of like that fairy tale, where the girl puts on the shoes and can't stop dancing (if I recall correctly, I believe it eventually kills her). Anyway, I was dancing and dancing, and twirling all around, I couldn't just walk anywhere, I had to dance, and my body was aching and exhausted, every muscle pushed well past its well of endurance, and still I had to keep dancing, and then...

And then I woke up, and it was morning. And I was tired from not sleeping well, and stiff and sore from lying too long in one position. Weird, huh? Truly amazing how the mind and body connect, even when we're unaware...

Something to be thankful for.

So this year Hannah started going to the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities (PPCD) at our local elementary school. And, since it's a public school, this program is free. (Well, technically our taxes pay for it but that's a whole other issue.) This is a good thing. They have a summer program too, for the severely disabled children (and thank GOD she isn't that!), but it still leaves me wondering... what on earth am I going to do with Hannah all summer? It seems such a shame that for 3 months her therapy is put on hold. Who knows how much she will retain, how much she will backslide? And with school starting later in the fall, this summer will be even longer than usual.

So I put in an inquiry to the Kemah Early Autism Project, a private education program near us that services the needs of children with various types and severities of autism spectrum disorders. It looks great. One thing I thought was particularly cool was that they integrate typically-developing children into their program, as a role model for the special needs kids. What a neat concept. (Many schools do the opposite, and try to integrate the autistic children into "normal" classrooms.)

The thing that got me, though, was the price tag. This was in their informational letter:

Our client families end up paying fees of $500 - $3000 per month depending upon the numbers of hours and the services selected from our menu of offerings.

Yikes. I am so, so thankful that the public school near us has such a good program, and that Hannah is doing so well there. It makes me indescribably sad to think that if circumstances were different, if we didn't live in such a good school district, that I wouldn't be able to afford to get Hannah the help she needs. They did say that

We are beginning to see client families that are successful in having their private insurance companies reimburse for ABA or Behavior Therapy, particularly those client families associated with the military TRICARE Insurance program.

but that doesn't help us much; even if our insurance would cover her therapy, she would need an official medical diagnosis. Which she doesn't have. And might not be able to get. Yet whether or not Hannah is in fact autistic as the "professionals" define it, there is no denying the improvements in language development, social skills, and behavior that we have seen since she started preschool in August 2006.

I don't know what we'll do this summer. Among other things, I hope there will be summer dance camp, and playdates, and trips to the zoo. Dinner picnics in the park and ice cream for good behavior. Movies at the theater. Playing at the beach, in the sand box, and at the pool. A lot of laughs, and a lot of fun. Right now, I'm thankful for Hannah's preschool, and for the teachers she adores. For the bus driver that brings my baby home safely to me every day. And for Hannah. Most of all, for Hannah.